You might be dating and wondering what are the ideal partner qualities to look for in your date to create your ideal relationship. On the other spectrum, you also want to be able to recognize the red flags of personality traits of your potential partner that leads to relationship problems. This article will help you to do that.
Introduction
Relationship is the ways we interact with each other. We have our relationships with our parents, children, siblings, other family members and friends. We also have our business, work and career related relationships. In addition, we have many other categories of relationships in the network of people we interact with.
In this post, we are focusing on romantic couples and describing the qualities that couples in a life partner relationship need to embrace and live by, in order to create an ideal relationship. We will also describe qualities and behaviors that do not belong to an ideal relationship and are seeds of conflicts, suffering, painful breakups, getting heartbroken and even emotional abuse.
What are the qualities of ideal partners?
An ideal relationship is created by a couple of ideal partners that are embodying the following qualities:
Kindness
The ideal love partners display warmth and caring toward each other. Their words and actions reflect their state of kindness, not only toward each other but also toward themselves and others. They do not speak harsh words.
Understanding
The ideal life partners give high priority to understand each other feelings, perspectives and actions. They listen attentively and they seek to understand each other interpretations and points of views. They work at finding common ground and understanding when their perspectives are opposites. They respect differences and are enriched by each other points of view.
Ideal partners do not seek to be right. They live by the mantra: “I rather be happy than right”
Love
The perfect life partners are non-judgmental. They do not judge each other and they do not judge themselves or others. They accept and embrace each other. They continuously strive to discover the positive side of the aspects of their partners that they are triggered by. They support their life partner dreams. They are affectionate and tender with each other. They find joy in being triggers of happiness for each other. They seek out ways to please each other.
The ideal life partners seek out ways to create peak experiences together.
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Trustworthiness
The ideal partners are honest, trustworthy and open. They are forthcoming and communicate with clarity and kindness their needs and desires. They do not keep secrets from each other. They are reliable and they do not make false promises. They are emotionally available and they share with each other a deep emotional intimacy. They communicate their feelings with kindness and love.
Ideal partners trust each other one hundred percent.
Ideal partners feel free of being completely transparent and vulnerable with each other
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Honesty and Integrity
These qualities are closely related with trustworthiness. Honesty means that they tell the truth with love. Integrity means that their words are congruent with their actions. Perfect partners embody honesty, integrity, transparency and openness to be vulnerable; therefore they are trustworthy.
Ideal partners never criticize their partners in the name of being honest
How to tell the truth with love?
Telling the truth with love combines the following:
- Communicating your truth without judging your partner.
- Recognizing that your truth is your personal perspective that might or might not be same as your partner’s truth.
- Listening and seeking to understand your partner truth (perspective)
- Releasing the need to be right
When we communicate our truth without judgment, we describe the situation and we express our feelings about it. We do not judge our partner.
Example: One of the partners in the relationship is sloppy while the other one is organized. The organized partner is triggered by the messiness of the papers and office supplies spread out all over the living room.
To tell the truth with love, she or he would describe to the other partner, what he/she is observing in the living room and how does he/she feels about it. No judgment or criticism toward his/her partner being sloppy or messy.
Optimism and enthusiasm
Ideal partners are always focusing on the beauty of simple things in life. They are delighted in the beauty of a sunset, of the smile of a child, of nature etc. They focus with gratitude on what they have.
Ideal partners see life mainly through rose glasses. They count their blessings. They turn failures into success. They trust the abundance, benevolence of the Universe and life. They are in love with life. They wake up every morning full of enthusiasm.
Ideal partners, by virtue of their positive focus, attract great opportunities into their life. With their optimist and enthusiasm they feed energy to an upward spiral of happiness.
Peace and joy
Ideal partners are centered in the high frequency vibrations of peace and joy most of the time. They have a very high set point of being triggered to feel stressed or upset in any way. When they do they are able to come back to a state of peace with ease. This does not mean that they are not emotional. On the contrary they express their feelings often. They are soulful and are moved by the beauty of the different expressions of life.
What are the behaviors and characteristics that ideal partners do not exhibit?
If you are dating and noticing any of the relationship poisoning personality traits or behaviors being displayed by your potential future partner, pause and take a break in dating.
The fact that you are attracting and being attracted to potential romantic partners that exhibit personality traits that are seeds of relationship problems is an indication you need to raise your vibrational frequency. When you do that, you will find more love, peace and joy flowing from within you and attracting the ideal partners that reflect back to you happiness.
Please do not judge yourself if you come to the awareness that your vibrational frequency is not as high as you would like it to be. At your essence you are a magnificent being of light and love. It is simply that in your human journey you experienced some wounds and traumas that need healing.
Per Law of Attraction for love, your romantic relationships are the most poignant mirrors reflecting back to you shadow vibrational frequencies that are lurking in your field. Be grateful for the self-awareness that these relationship mirrors provide to you and seize it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Also, pay attention whether or not you exhibit any of these qualities that sabotage relationships. If you do, be pro-active and work at transforming them. These qualities and behaviors have no place in the ideal relationship you desire to create.
On the other hand, if you already are in a committed romantic relationship and notice any of these relationship-poisoning behaviors start with yourself. You can start in a journey of self-awareness noticing your thoughts and reactions. Then commit to embody more of the ideal partner qualities that are listed in the previous segment of this post. To do that engage with an emotional healing process such as clearing toxic emotions.
In addition, through your journaling and review of your present and past experiences, notice if you are repeating relationship sabotaging behaviors and/or finding yourself in unwanted repeating patterns in your relationships. If that is the case, then it is a clear indication of core fractures in your field that need repairing.
When you do that, there is a good probability that your life partner follow your higher path modeling. In that case your relationship will improve and you both will be happier.
List of behaviors and personality traits that are relationships poisons
Here is the list of behaviors and personality traits that have no place in an ideal relationship and are warning signs of relationship problems:
Blaming
Ideal partners are not blamers. Ideal partners take ownership of their creations. They know that their relationships and life circumstances are mirrors of their inner world. They seek to learn and grow continuously. They never blame their partners. Ideal partners never blame their past. They never blame others. They embrace their power and free choice of adjusting their vibrational resonance to create the world they wish to live in.
Ideal partners when are faced with a demonstration of a behavior by their partners they are not happy about, they use the opportunity as a self-inquiry:
- What emotions am I feeling?
- What thoughts am I having about this situation that my partner is playing out?
- What beliefs am I holding onto that are shaping these thoughts?
- When did I feel these emotions before?
- When was the first time I felt this way?
Once ideal partners complete the self-inquiry, they communicate to their partners the situation that triggered them, how they feel about it, what discoveries they made during the self-inquiry process. In this communication, they never judge or blame the other partner.
Blaming is one of the main causes of relationship problems that end up in divorce
Criticizing
Ideal partners are very open-minded. They seek understanding and interpretations under multiple lenses. Ideal partners are non-judgmental
Criticizing is the other face of blaming. Both are common causes of relationship problems. Often time the blamers and criticizers do not even notice that they are doing it. Or they justify criticizing and blaming on the name of improving their partners. It does not work.
Complaining
Ideal partners are not complainers. They focus on the positives of their partners and life in general. They are optimistic. Ideal partners seek out to notice beauty in the different aspects of life.
On the opposite spectrum, chronic complainers seem to notice everything that is wrong. They seem to be experts at finding something to complain about. If you are dating a complainer see it as a warning sign that at some point they will start complaining about you as well.
Being jealous
Perfect partners never react with jealousy. They are confident on who they are and on their ideal relationship. They trust their partners. They know that they are lovable. They nourish the relationship. They keep a deep emotional intimacy with their partners. They know where they stand in the relationship.
Never confuse or try to justify being jealous in the name of love. Jealousy is resultant of fears, which is opposite to love. Jealousy leads to bitter relationship problems.
Being envious
Ideal partners are never envious. They are grateful and happy for who they are and what they have. They know that they are abundant. They support their partners and they are happy for the successes of their partners.
Lying
Ideal partners are honest. They tell the truth without judging. Ideal partners do not lie and do not keep secrets from each other. They do not put on a mask to hide some aspects of them. They know that they are lovable for who they are.
Ideal partners share a deep emotional connection and they feel comfortable sharing everything including their shadows. Ideal partners do not judge each other, which facilitates transparency, authenticity and openness with each other.
Lying is another poison of relationships. It ends the trust which is a very important quality of ideal relationships. It can result in one of the partners feeling betrayed.
Cheating is a magnified version of lying.
Looking down on others
Ideal partners embrace the knowing that every individual is an expression of Source. They believe that every individual is equally valuable to others.
Ideal partners recognize that competition and comparison are limited constructs. They are confident without any beliefs or feelings of superiority or inferiority.
Ideal partners believe that all beings, including people, animals and plants, are equally valuable and magnificent.
Being sarcastic
Ideal partners are never sarcastic. This is a trait that might be overlooked because it can be perceived as a type of humor. However, sarcastic people are not ideal partners. They confuse having a sense of humor with disrespecting and conveying contempt toward others.
When you are dating, watch out for this personality trait. You might think your date is funny when he/she is being sarcastic. However, watch out: During courtship, other people are the target and later you will be the target of contempt and disrespect.
Being emotionally reactive
Ideal partners are responsive rather than reactive.
Ideal partners are centered in peace, calm and love. They have a relatively high vibrational frequency. Their set points of trigger for anger or any other negative emotions is high. They very rarely experience any negative emotions.
It must be clarified that being emotionally non reactive does not imply suppressing emotions. On the contrary, those people that frequently suppress their emotions are those that when they explode they express it in unhealthy ways. For example, long term denied and repressed anger can manifest in violence.
Ideal partners are centered in peace, love and joy because they have cleared their toxic emotions. They live in a state of happiness.
Ideal partners respond with calmness rather than emotional reactiveness.
There are many degrees and severities of emotional reactiveness. In severe forms can lead to toxic relationships of emotional and physical abuse.
Controlling and needy
Ideal partners are neither controlling nor needy. They allow each other their own space, sovereignty and independence. Ideal partners share a deep emotional connection while allowing and supporting each other individuality and uniqueness. They are masters at the divine dance of balancing interdependence and independence.
Being egocentric
Ideal partners are not egocentric and they are not narcissist. They are not self-centered. They do not need external validation or external admiration. They are not needy.
Ideal partners stand firmly in their knowing of self and each other worth and love.
Ideal partners are abundant in love and worth.
Engaging in addictions
Addictions are compulsive behaviors that people engage on in an attempt to improve their emotional state and/or an attempt to deny or escape from a feeling. There are many forms of addictions, some more damaging and unhealthy than others. Smoking, drinking, drugs, pornography, excess screen time, binge eating are just a few examples of addictions.
Ideal partners do not engage in any addictions. They are very present with themselves, others and life in general. They are centered in love, joy and peace; therefore they feel great most of the time. Whenever they deviate from the feelings of wellness and peace, they know how to bring back themselves to peace through self-awareness or mindfulness.
Obviously, addictions not only are personally damaging but also are causes of many relationship problems.
Miss-treating animals
You might be thinking that I am going to far with this list of relationship poisoning behaviors. After all, how come your partner ways of treating animals have anything to do with you? It does because the ways a person treats animals will reflect ways they treat other people, including their romantic partners.
Perfect partners care about animals. They would never act with cruelty toward animals. They see animals as fellow souls that have emotions and deserve to be honored in their role in nature.
How do life partners create an ideal relationship?
There are multiple definitions of an ideal life partner relationship. Many people would define it as “Happily ever after”. Other people would define it as a romantic partnership free from relationship problems.
Regardless of the definition, the most important ingredient to create and ideal relationship is commitment of both life partners to the following:
- Finding and applying win-win creative ways to rise above any disagreements or hurts
- Practicing listening with understanding and non-judgment to each other
- Remembering that when their partners trigger them is an opportunity to discover and heal a shadow part of their selves.
- Learning and growing from the gained awareness of the aspects they mirror to each other
- Communicating to each other their feelings openly without judgment. They express their “truth” from the perspective of “I”. They take responsibility for their negative feelings and reactions and they never blame their partners.
- Turning on the intensity of the “rose coloured glasses” as they focus on their partners. In other words, they focus and amplify the positive qualities of their partners.
- Dimming down the intensity of the “gray coloured glasses” as they focus on their partners. In other words, they seek to find the positive side, even in aspects of their partners that they dislike. This applies to habits of their partner that are nuisances to them. It does never apply to any emotional or physical abusive behavior. Any kind or degree of abuse has no place in an ideal relationship.
- Expressing appreciation for each other. They don’t take for granted each other actions of kindness
- Supporting each other to rise above any challenges of life
- Keeping a balance that works for both of them between allowing each other space and independence and sharing plenty of quality time
- Sharing plenty of common interests, values and activities they love to do together
- Make time to share emotional, physical and sexual intimacy
- Make time to bring in novel experiences that they share together
- Working on embodying more and more higher levels of the positive qualities of perfect partners
Do ideal relationships realistic or are they utopian?
The word “ideal” or “perfect” can sound as referring to something non-existent on this planet. Ideal relationships sounds as something existing only in our imagination or in other planets, galaxies and dimensions. Ideal relationships might sound a fiction portrayed in movies and books.
The reality is that people embodying the wonderful positive qualities of ideal partners do exist on this planet. These ideal partners find each other and create real ideal relationships here on this physical dimension on mother earth. The ideal partners form a partnership free from relationship problems.
On the other hand, it is also true that nowadays only a small percentage of all the romantic relationships on this planet function 100 % of the time as ideal romantic partnerships. Please do not allow this to be discouraging for you. Be assured that as you work on raising your vibrational frequency, as a result of the Law of Attraction for love, you will magnetize to you ideal partners.
You do not have to be a space alien to create and live the ideal relationship of your dreams
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Should I postpone dating until I complete my emotional healing process?
This is a question that I can’t answer for you because it is your personal choice. However if you already experienced painful romantic relationships and you have been heartbroken and your field was fractured, then it is a great idea to pause and do some emotional healing before jumping to another relationship. Unless you work on your healing, you will repeat similar painful relationship patterns.
If you look back to your life and notice non-beneficial repeating patterns in your relationships that have caused you pain, it is an indication that you need to heal past wounds by repairing your core fractures.
Also, if you are dating and noticing in yourself and/or in your potential future partners multiple behaviors that are relationship poisons, then is a great opportunity to engage in self-awareness and your own emotional healing.
The fact is that the more you heal your past wounds and traumas, the easier will be for you to embody the positive qualities of an ideal partner. When you do that, per Law of Attraction for love, you attract romantic ideal partners that are a vibrational match to you.
A couple of ideal partners create the ideal relationship characterized by ease, love, joy, bliss, peace and harmony.
You create with your ideal partner, your own heaven on earth.
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On the other hand, being an ideal partner and being in an ideal relationship is something to work toward. It is something to get better and better at it and continuously seeking to turn on the volume of the positive qualities.
Is there an end point or maximum level of “ideal” romantic partnership ? I believe that the maximum level of ideal relationship is when both partners have reached enlightenment. Even then, you will continue working together with your ideal partner on creating new experiences that expand both of you. Life is a journey not a destination.
You do not need to postpone dating until you reach enlightenment. You just need to do enough emotional healing to avoid any emotionally or physically abusive relationships. In other words, raise your vibrational frequency to avoid attracting toxic relationships.
Then you will be ready to enter into a supportive romantic relationship. In a supportive relationship, your partner and you will use the relationship challenges as awareness opportunities. Your partner will be mirroring to you your own vibrations, and vice versa. You both work on upgrading your vibrations by Repairing core fractures and clearing toxic emotions of your field. When you both do that, your relationship continues to grow and get happier and happier.
